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Alcohol
Labels Just Like Cigarettes
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the
following warning
labels be
placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
imbecile.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-
lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your ass kicked..
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan
tpye reel Gode.
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