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Listen to this parody.
| Bobber,
the eccentric brother of the famous Lemuel Gulliver, embarks on a
whimsical adventure that defies all logic and reason. Bobber is known far and wide for his outlandish fashion choices, such as wearing mismatched socks as gloves, using a tie as a belt, and most notably, sporting a shoe on his head as a hat. His unique style matches his profession as an "Explorer of the Unexplorable," a title that really means he has a knack for getting lost and stumbling upon places no one knew existed. One fateful day, while navigating his unreliable boat, "The Wobbly Compass," Bobber is caught in a storm unlike any other. This storm is filled with fish flying out of the sea, question mark-shaped lightning, and an overall sense of confusion. After being tossed around like a ragdoll, Bobber's boat crashes on the shores of an unfamiliar land. Stumbling onto the beach with his shoe-hat now filled with seaweed, Bobber is greeted by a group of tiny people, no taller than his knee, who are armed with toothpicks and sport fierce expressions, despite looking like they belong in a toothpaste commercial. "Who goes there?" demands the leader, a tiny man with an oversized mustache. "I am Bobber, Explorer of the Unexplorable," replies Bobber, tipping his shoe-hat. "And I seem to have unexplainably stumbled into your, uh, charming little kingdom." Impressed by Bobber’s eloquent yet nonsensical introduction, the tiny people, known as the Un-Reasonables, decide to take him to their ruler, Queen Puzzlemind the Perplexing. The Queen, known for making decisions that even the most bewildered minds find baffling, lives in a castle made entirely of puzzle pieces that never quite fit together. When Bobber meets Queen Puzzlemind, she’s in the midst of assembling a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of a black hole. “Ah, a new visitor!” she exclaims, dropping a puzzle piece into her tea. “Tell me, are you here to solve the greatest riddle of our land?” Bobber, scratching his head and dislodging a crab from his hair, responds, “Riddle, you say? I’m not much of a riddler, more of a drifter. But I’m game for anything, as long as it doesn’t involve math.” The Queen, delighted by his willingness, presents him with an absurd riddle: “What is the sound of one hand clapping while holding a banana and standing on one foot?” After a moment of thought, Bobber replies, “It sounds like someone who really needs a snack and a chair.” The court, taken aback by the oddity of his answer, gasps in unison. Never before had anyone answered the riddle with such peculiar insight. Queen Puzzlemind, beaming with delight, declares, “You, Bobber, are truly an Un-Reasonable! You shall be our honored guest and help us with our greatest challenge.” The challenge, as Bobber soon learns, is truly bizarre: the kingdom’s crops are growing upside down. Carrots dangle from the sky, potatoes float like helium balloons, and cabbages perform somersaults in the air. The kingdom’s best scientists, who are more like magicians with calculators, are stumped. Bobber, thinking outside the box as usual, suggests, “Have you tried talking to the plants? Sometimes, they just need a little encouragement, you know?” The Queen, considering his advice, asks, “But what should we say to them?” Bobber, recalling a half-read book on horticulture, suggests, “Tell them to ‘get a grip,’ literally. Maybe they’ll stop floating around like they’re on a permanent vacation.” The next morning, the entire kingdom gathers in the fields and begins shouting at the plants with all the dignity they can muster. “Get a grip, you lazy vegetables! Potatoes, come down here this instant! Cabbages, stop showing off!” Miraculously, Bobber’s unorthodox solution works. The plants, perhaps out of sheer confusion, start growing properly. The potatoes return to the ground, the carrots dig themselves in, and the cabbages cease their acrobatics. Queen Puzzlemind, overjoyed, rewards Bobber with the highest honor in the land: the Golden Puzzle Piece, a giant, glittering piece of metal that, much like Bobber’s life, doesn’t fit into anything. Just as Bobber begins to settle into his new role as the kingdom’s official “Riddler of Ridiculousness,” another storm rolls in. This one is even stranger, with rain that tastes like lemonade and thunder that sounds like a marching band. Before he knows it, Bobber is swept off his feet and carried away by a gust of wind, his shoe-hat flapping wildly. When he awakens, Bobber finds himself back on his boat, "The Wobbly Compass," which is miraculously intact and floating in calm waters. Looking around, he half-expects to see the tiny Un-Reasonables waving goodbye from the shore, but there’s nothing but sea and sky. With a sigh, Bobber adjusts his shoe-hat and picks up the Golden Puzzle Piece, now serving as an impractical paperweight. “Well,” he says to himself, “I suppose it’s time to drift off to the next Unexplorable place. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find a land where the clouds are made of cotton candy or where the people speak only in limericks.” And so, Bobber sails off into the horizon, always lost but never really lost, ready for his next adventure in a world where reason takes a backseat to the whims of the wonderfully absurd. |
| Gargantua | Gilly | Gigglever | Gibberish | Gullible |
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