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Chapter
1: A Great Misadventure Gullible, an overconfident and clueless explorer, and the lesser-known brother of Gulliver, stood atop his rickety ship, The Soggy Biscuit, and declared, "I shall discover new lands and become the most famous adventurer in history!" His equally clueless crew cheered, despite the fact that they had been sailing in circles for days. Mistaking a flock of seagulls for dragons, Gullible shouted, "Prepare for battle!" The crew grabbed fish instead of weapons, flinging them wildly at the sky. Then, a thick fog rolled in. "We must be near the edge of the world!" Gullible declared, convinced they were about to plummet into nothingness. Instead, the ship was sucked into a massive whirlpool. As the crew screamed, Gullible shouted his final, misguided order: "Row uphill!" Everything went black. Chapter 2: Welcome to Guzzlemania Gullible awoke on a sandy shore, dazed but unharmed. Before he could collect his thoughts, a booming voice startled him. "Welcome to Guzzlemania!" roared a massive figure. Before him stood Gluttonus, the enormous, round leader of the Guzzlers—a race of giants obsessed with feasting. Their entire civilization revolved around food. "I’ve done it! I’ve discovered a new land!" Gullible exclaimed proudly. Gluttonus clapped him on the back (nearly knocking him over). "You must eat with us! In Guzzlemania, eating is our favorite pastime!" Gullible was whisked away to an enormous banquet hall, where towering tables overflowed with mountains of food. Trying to maintain his dignity, Gullible puffed out his chest. "I am Gullible, the greatest explorer of all time! I’ve come to..." "Try the roasted hippo!" interrupted Gluttonus, stuffing an entire turkey into his mouth. Gullible gulped. "This might be a problem." Chapter 3: The Belly of the Beast Gullible attempted to keep up with the Guzzlers’ feast but soon felt ill. "Why do you eat so much?" he asked. Gluttonus beamed. "We eat to grow bigger! The bigger we are, the more food we can eat! It’s the Circle of Munch!" "What happens when you run out of food?" Gullible asked hesitantly. Gluttonus hesitated. "That’s never happened… yet." Just then, a loud rumbling shook the ground—a "Great Guzzlequake!" The Guzzlers panicked. The trembling ground sent Gullible tumbling—straight into Gluttonus’s open mouth. "Oh no," he groaned as he slid down the giant’s throat. "This is NOT how I wanted to go down in history." Chapter 4: Escape from the Belly of the Beast Inside Gluttonus’s stomach, Gullible quickly realized two things: One, the Guzzlers did not chew. Two, he needed to get out—fast. He built a raft out of floating food scraps and paddled through the swirling stomach contents. "A whole cow? A ship? This guy really needs to chew." Spotting a glowing tunnel ahead, he paddled toward it. With a final push, he was sucked up the esophagus and launched into the air—before landing in a giant fruit bowl with a tremendous BELCH!. Chapter 5: The Final Course The Guzzlers cheered. "That was the most exciting thing that’s happened in ages!" Gluttonus exclaimed. Before Gullible could plot his escape, a familiar voice rang out. "Step aside, amateurs!" A ship crashed onto the shore, and out strode Captain Halfwit, an explorer famous for his incompetence. "I have come to rescue you, Gullible!" he declared. "And also claim this land in my name!" Gullible groaned. "You’re even worse than me." Halfwit pulled out a tattered map. "According to this, the legendary land of Supersizeopolis lies beyond Guzzlemania! It is said to have food even bigger than here!" The Guzzlers gasped. "Bigger food? We must go there at once!" While the Guzzlers gathered supplies, Gullible and Halfwit snuck away toward the shore. Chapter 6: Homeward Bound They climbed into a small boat and set sail. "That was close," Gullible sighed. Halfwit smirked. "You may have escaped, but I shall return and claim Supersizeopolis!" "You do realize it doesn’t exist, right?" Gullible asked. Halfwit waved dismissively. "Nonsense! Now, let’s sail due North!" Gullible sighed. "That’s South." Halfwit turned the map upside-down. "Exactly as planned!" As they drifted away, Gullible found himself smiling. He knew that soon enough, Halfwit would stumble into his own ridiculous misadventure, and Gullible would have yet another tale to tell. When they finally returned home, Gullible regaled everyone with his story. "I narrowly escaped the belly of a beast!" he boasted. Although no one believed him, he became a local legend for his outrageous stories and knack for getting into (and out of) ridiculous situations. And while he never sailed again, he continued to embellish his stories—making them even more outrageous with each retelling. |
Gargantua | Gilly | Gigglever | Gibberish | Bobber |