When God Made Truck Drivers
When the Lord was creating Truck Drivers, he was into his sixth day of
overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one."
And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order?"
"A truck driver has to be able to drive 10-12 or more hours per day,
through any type of weather, on any type of road, know the highway
traffic laws of 48 states and 10 provinces, he has to be ready and able
to unload 40,000 lbs of cargo after driving thru the night, sleep in
areas of cities and towns that the police refuse to patrol."
"He has to be able to live in his truck 24 hours a day 7 days a week
for weeks on end, offer first aid and motorist assistance to his fellow
travelers, meet just in time schedules, and still maintain an even and
controlled composure when all around him appear to have gone mad."
"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black
coffee and half-eaten meals; he has to have six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no
way."
It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's
the three pairs of eyes a driver has to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded.
"One pair that sees the herd of deer in the thickets 3 miles away"
"Another pair here in the side of his head for the blind spots that
motorists love to hide in; and another pair of eyes here in front that
can look reassuringly at the bleeding victim of a drunk driver that
crashed into his ICC bumper at 70MPH and say, 'You'll be all right
ma'am,' when he knows it isn't so."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this
tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can drive 650
miles a day, without incident and can raise a family of five without
ever seeing them, on 30 cents a mile."
The angel circled the model of the truck driver very slowly, "Can it
think?" ,she asked.
"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of every HAZMAT
load invented; recite Federal Motor Carrier Regulations rules and regs
in its sleep; deliver, pickup, be a father, offer timely advice to
strangers, search for missing children, defend a woman's or children's
rights, get 8 hours of good rest on the street and raise a family of
Law respecting citizens, without ever going home ... and still it keeps
its sense of humor. "
"This driver also has phenomenal personal control.
He can deal with delivery and pickup areas created from scenes painted
in hell, coax a lumper to actually work for his money, comfort an
accident victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how truck
drivers are nothing more than killers on wheels and have no respect for
the rights of others while using the nations highways, which are mostly
paid for by truck taxes.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the
driver.
"There's a leak," she pronounced.
"I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the lord, "it's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to
that funny piece of cloth called the flag, for justice, for the family
without its father."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."
Author Unknown
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