Tuesday

Water or Coca Cola

WATER

#1. 75% of Canadians are chronically dehydrated.(Likely applies to 1/4 the world population.)

#2. In 37% of Canadians, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.

#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Alberta study.

#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a>can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a>sumptuous brown gravy.

#8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Cokeinto the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean engines of the trucks for about 20 years! Now the question is, would you like a glass of water? or Coke?

Sent by Mike

Monday

Driver ID

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn : New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window : Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator : Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator : California *with gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror : Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat : Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game : Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window : Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road : Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment : Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car : Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter : Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna : West Virginia male.

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel : Las Vegas

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida "seasoned citizen" driver, also known as "no-see-um"

Sent by Marsha

Thursday

Reaching Adulthood

There's been a lot in the news lately about the scientific community's research on aging. If they can identify the factors that make people age, scientists say it will make a big step toward longer lives for all of us.

At the risk of putting a lot of scientists out of work, there's really no big mystery.

Old age is caused by having kids. I don't have a lot of studies, charts, and analytical data to support that. All I do is offer myself as "Exhibit A".

Before I became a father, I was a young man. My stomach was flat, my skin was smooth and my body parts did not creak. But then my first kid came out of the delivery room. I became an old man on the drive home from the hospital. My back went first.

Their mother got the stretch marks, but I got the slipped disc from loading 700 pounds of port-a-potties into the trunk of the car every time we took a trip that lasted longer than half an hour .

After 8,000 miles of horsey-back rides across the kitchen floor, I had blisters on my palms, calluses on my knees and sway in my spine. Not to mention a craving for oats. My body deteriorated rapidly after that.

By the time I went to my 10 year high school reunion, former classmates were trying to guess whether or not I had been their home room teacher. But those weren't really age spots on my hands and forearms. They were Sani-Flush stains from reaching into toilets to rescue combs, Lincoln Logs, and used to walk of Fisher-Price people.

After a while I got used to walking around with one sleeve permanently rolled up, but I'm still trying to get over the effects of having to give mouth-to-mouth to a Baby Tears. What looks like middle-aged spread actually started in my late 20's That's when I began to polish off leftovers from my kid's plates because there wasn't enough to save but there was too much to throw away.

By the time my fourth kid came along, I actually began to enjoy pancakes with catsup on them. The more kids I had, the older I got.

All my life I had 20/20 vision. But by the time I had assisted on the first few hundred book reports that didn't get started until the night before they were due because "nobody told me about it," I was making weekly visits to an optometrist.

Midway through my 30's my nerves were steady and my blood pressure was normal. But that was before my oldest kid got her temporary drivers license. I sat in the passengers seat of my new sports car and watched her shift from second gear to reverse without using the clutch at 45 miles an hour in our driveway.

Gray hair, wrinkles, and bags under my eyes? I've got them all. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to cash Social Security checks. It means I have a kid who attends a college that increases its tuition fees daily, another who wears $125 basketball shoes that he outgrows hourly, and a third with raging hormones who's mood changes ever minute on the minute.

My only consolation is that someday those kids will have children of their own. And then, they'll be older than I am.

Sent by GT