Thursday

Decoding

Online shortcuts for the initiated :

2NITE = Tonight
ADR = Address
ASL = Age/Sex/Location
AWGTHTGTTA = Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again
B4 = Before
B4YKI = Before You Know It
BC = Because
BRB = Be Right Back
CIAO = Goodbye (in Italian)
CWYL = Chat With You Later
CYA = See You
CYT or SYT = See You Tomorrow
GTG = Got to Go
HAK = Hugs And Kisses
J/K = Just Kidding!
KEWL = Cool
KOTL = Kiss On The Lips
L8R = Later
LMIRL = Let's Meet In Real Life
LMK = Let Me Know
LOL = Laugh Out Loud
MorF = Male or Female
N-A-Y-L = In A While
NALOPKT = Not A Lot Of People Know That
OMG = Oh My God
P911 = Parent Alert
PIR = Parent In Room
POS = Parent Over Shoulder
OTP = On The Phone
QT = Cutie
ROTFL = Rolling on the Floor Laughing
RU = Are You?
RUMORF = Are You Male Or Female
RUOK = Are you Okay?
SorG = Straight or Gay
SWDYT = So What Do You Think?
TDTM = Talk Dirty To Me
THX or TX or THKS = Thanks
TLK-2-U-L-8-R = Talk to You Later
TMI = Too Much Information
TOM = Tomorrow
TTYL = Talk to You Later
WTF = What The F***
WTG = Way to Go
WYCM = Will You Call Me?

Sent by Scooter

Sunday

Newfoundland Ale Indulgement

A Newfie walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks,"What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?"

"Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender.

So the Newfie gives him the $10, and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, - There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth.
You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, - There's a 90-year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her."

The Newfie is stunned. "I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it!
You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things...."

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on and the Newfie has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.
Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up, and soon all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping, and then............silence.

Just when they think the Newfie surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

Now," he says, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth?

Sent by Peter