What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

What type of bra? asked the clerk.

Type? inquires the man, There's more than one type?

Look around, said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape size, color and material imaginable.

Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types ofbras to choose from.

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:

There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded: It is all really quite simple...

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright.

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Sent by Claire


Bill Cosby Speaks Out

This is actually word for word what he said to a gathering of students who asked about the bailout in America.

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.

I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads.
You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans.
Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa.

I say this all of the time.
It would be like white people saying they are European-American.
That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents.
I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands.
The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa.
So stop, already!

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ......... and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed.
Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.
We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.


Italian Mafia

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed.

"Lissin' a me.
I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated 38-caliber revolver, so you will always remember me."

The grandson smiles weakly and replies; "But grandpa, I really donna a lika guns.

Howz about you leava me you ROLEX watch instead?"

Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in his voice; "Shuddup an lissin'.

Somma day, you gonna runna da business.

You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybea a couple of bambinos."

After a slight pause to catch his breath he continues; "Somma day, you gonna comma home, and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man.

Whadda you gonna do then, .... pointa to you watch and say "Times up"?"

Sent by Peter